I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
