I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
