Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
