I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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