so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
