I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
