the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize