I want to walk on stilts...naked
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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