I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
