it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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