Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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