Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
