ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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