NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
