She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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