Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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