woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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