i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize