I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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