Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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