The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
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I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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