He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
