We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
