talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Let's get the cat blown out
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