brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
