that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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