I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
two words...techno handjob
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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