you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
