fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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