I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
