My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
