You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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