So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
