ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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