I feel like I'm in dance class right now
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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