I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize