I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
