it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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