If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
