I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
