I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
