my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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