I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
