If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
