JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
