Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize