What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
