Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
