Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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