Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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