Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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