I wish I could punch you in the face.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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