hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
