Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
