I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
